Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in wildflower18's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, July 16th, 2005
1:16 am	Interesting Well i guess we are all pretty bad about updating....except for bill i think hes the only one who updated...lol maybe this live journal thingy was a fad. meh. Oh well im going to update anyways. I went to see Charley and the chocolate factory today with the maria....man that was a good movie.. it had an eerie kinda theme to it i loved it. Also went to wallmart target and walked around the mall it was a busy and fun day. We even went for chinese buffet. it was good times. OH! I never wrote about my new job! i decided to quit my old one after finding this one cause it pays more and also i can get more hours. I also hated my old job bcause the head teacher wouldnt get off my back. She kept blamming me for shit i know she did and getting me in trouble and just driving me insane. Totally the first daycare i ever worked in that i didnt have to worry about the kids as much as i did my coworkers. There was so much back stabbing and ass kissing going on that you couldnt even sneeze without getting in trouble. Everybody had there clicks the was me and 4 other teachers who hung out and got along as for everyone else there all they did was kiss ass and watch and report every move you make. Sooooo i dropped that job like a bad habit that ended in two weeks lol...had to give my two week resignation. I start my new job this monday and i couldnt be more nervouse if i tried. Im pretty worried its a smaller place and the kids all seem pretty wild...at least that was my first impression but the teachers all seemed very nice and the boss seems cool....we shall see if im saying al this in the next two weeks or not though. Well wish me luck all! pooooooooooop! Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: runaway train by soul asylum (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 26th, 2005
11:06 pm	Im alive just slow on updating Well things are going well, I went to Atlantic city for my very first time last tuesday....man was it something. I won 50 bucks its not a lot but hey 50 bucks is 50 bucks and thats 50 bucks in my pocket i didnt have before lol....it went into my tattoo fund lol. We walked the board walk and played the slots all day. Went to The Irish Pub for lunch and i got a jollyrancher and it was just nice and laid back really. A good get away. Something i found interesting is the fact that you can smoke in the casinos. So there i sat playing slot machines and chain smoking and drinking mixed drinks and soda when i started to feel buzzed lol. It was a lot of fun and i would definatly do it again. Other then that not much has been going on besides me working and swimming. I finally puchased a pair of flippers and now i race laurie and jesse and tony when we swim its pretty cool cause now i can swim really fast. My legs are definatly getting stronger its a pretty good form of excercize. I also met a new love potential....not sure if i wrote about her yet. But anyways we have also been hanging out after work and such. We go over to her place and hang out sometmes or we just go for a dive somewhere and talk. She flirts with me constantly its kinda funny but for some reason i am having a hard time letting my gard down. pry from my last relationship. well i guess thats about all the news i have. Poop Current Mood: busy Current Music: the sound of my air conditioner (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
11:37 pm	Poop in the outdoors....hmmmm Well once again i have gotten very busy and havent written in like forever. I am busy planning summer things such as camping on my own for once, swimming and other fun stuffs. I purchased a raft with Laurie....we are planning on rafting in many different areas and camping out as well. It should be an advenure since niether one of us has done it before. On friday we are taking the raft out on lake wallenpaupack for a trial run to one of the islands out there and if all goes well we will do it again in another couple weeks to a further island and camp out...then who knows where we will end up lol. I took off from work i had 3 vacation days built up that are paid and 2 of them will be when we go camping the other one i took was the monday after courts wedding...sort of a rest day before going back lol. I did have a bit of a problem last week...i kinda disapeared for the week and lived in my car cause my mom and i got in another huge fight but all is ok now we made up...sort of. I never even told laurie about it cause i didnt want her to feel like she should let me stay with her i just kept to myself and went to work and when i knew no one was going to be around at my house i went home to shower and pick up cloths. Sigh such as life i suppose finally decided on mothers day that maybe i should try and make a mends but meh it didnt help much as usual ah well at least im back in my room with a bed and a shower and food. Not that i had run away mind you...I just needed to get away from eveyone at that point including my gram and the drinking bit. And even laurie. I guess i just wanted time alone. Fun fun lol, well im sweating my ass off and im tired of writing sooooo thats it for now. Pooop Current Mood: crazy Current Music: no doubt (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 17th, 2005
11:51 pm	Happy Birthday to me! Well my birthday didnt turn out as bad as i thought it would this year. Gram took me out to a birthday lunch then we went to these cute little stores that were by the place we ate at. Then we went looking at camcorders and found one very nice one by JVC which i bought with birthday and easter money put together and a small bit of help from my gram who put in an extra 20 bucks so i could get it and the stuff i needed for the camcorder. Needless to say the next trip to esu shall be recorded lol and also the next party and courts wedding hehe. It will be sooooo cool. I already learned a lot on using it and am still learning. so this birthday was a hit oh and i got ren and stimpy sessions one and two! hehe and laurie came over to hang with me and we ran around the house recording stuffs and then watched a shit load of ren and stimpy and ate ice cream birthday cake and pizza all and all it was a great birthday! POOOP! Current Mood: WOOOOOT! Current Music: no idea but it has a nice melody (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 14th, 2005
11:12 pm	Hey I found something kind of cool Hey you guys gotta take my quiz i made! Maria made me take hers soooo since she already took mine and some others have taken mine i thought the rest of ya all should try and see how well ya know me! Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com! Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: Armor for sleep (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
1:17 am	Lonely birthday ahead Well since i havent written in a while im going to have to update a bit. Guess whos back....Nikki. She was sending me emails and saying things were not working out for her and now she is back and we are friends but nothing else....sort of. Anywoot she has been comming on strong but i have been a good little poop and sticking to my rule of no we are friends until i am sure your not going to treat me like shit rule. heh. So thats the new stuff some of it. I got courts invite and sent my reply back yesterday. Sooo woot! This sunday is my B-day. Im not really looking forward to it with the wy things have been going at my house. I asked my mom if we where doing anything special and she keeps saying she doesnt know but ide like to know cause if not i want to get the fuck away from here for my B-day. Dont know what to do or where to go yet but i wanna do something fun. Im so used to being around all the ESU crowd on my b-days i was hopeing to go visit but cant call anyone till my mom friggen tells me whats going on. sigh. She pry wont till the day then do nothing like normal. That will piss me off severely. Sigh all my brithdays anymore suck around here wish i where back at college. meh. Poop away! Current Mood: complacent Current Music: Armor for sleep (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 31st, 2005
11:59 pm	Wooot! Well today was a good day. We had 5 kids when i came in and only 1 by friggen 4:30! i had a whole hour of just hanging with one kid it was beautiful lol. Last night was also a blast....i got to do something that lets just say i havent done since last summer and no it wasnt swimming....lets just say i saw gremlins hehehe! Me and laurie where soooo fucked up I was friggen laughing like bevis lol. It was great. Anywoot then i didnt feel like going to work today because i was so tired from last night but it turned out cool cause there wasnt many kids and no headachs today then i got home and watched some of my favorite programming and relaxed then i decided to go on my computer for a while. Lol then i decided to check my phones time and messages cause i was reading the courts journal and found out about a party over at the D's house and sure enough a message from D saying about the party soooo wooot! Im definetly going! I just cant call her to let her know cause its 12 midnight sooooo i shall have to wait till tommorow after worky. Heh so there was my past two days fun fun....not a bad end to this one though lol now im all like woot i have something to look forward to this weekend! I can see the ESU kids and have a blast like always! It shall be wonderful! Well thats about it ive run out of things to write about. Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Nobody by Marylin manson (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 30th, 2005
12:10 am	Thinking too much Well I have been thinking a lot about Nikki as usual. I miss everything about her and when i try not to think about her i think about her more heh. I just dont get it i felt like i wanted to get away from her now i wish she would come back. I even got this song called stop crying your heart out because it reminds me of us. The words go like this: Hold on, hold on, dont be scared, youlle never change whats been and gone, may your smile, shine on, dont be scared, your destiny may keep you going on, cause all of the stars have faded away just try not to worry you will see her someday just take what you need and be on your way and stop crying your heart out. Get up come on why you scared youll never change whats been and gone cause all of the stars have faded away just try not to worry you will see her someday just take what you need and be on your way and stop crying your heart out. then the chorus keeps repeating....sigh makes me think of her and how i should forget about her and stay strong and how i cant and i hope i can see her again. meh. Why i still love her i have no idea. I guess i just got to used to her when i had her around i dunno. I found a pic the other day of the girls and cried. I miss them too. Meh. Life goes on i suppose. Good thing is my jobs going better and i dyed my hair....burgandy again only its a little lighter. I also got laid the other night...by an old friend who likes rough sex...hehe. Weird thing is that it was strange. I felt kinda odd with him. I was used to being with nikki and then going with a guy just felt kinda like i was cheating on her even though i really wasnt. I only did it to try and forget her but it made me feel real guilty. i dunno. Im kinda confussed about why i felt like that but hey at least i got laid lol. meh. Well im out need some sleep before dealing with the rugrats tommorow. Poop Current Mood: and confussed Current Music: Nobody by Marylin manson (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 24th, 2005
1:07 am	Im alive i swear! Well sorry i havent posted for so long, ive been somewhat of a mess lately. I guess i have been pretty down lately with all the shit thats been on my plate. My head teacher is trying to get me fired, she has taken a disliken to me since i told her she had to start paying more attention to this one little boy in our classroom. Court you know the story....i think....or maybe it was maria i told that story to who knows lol. anywoot im not going to get into detail other then this woman plays favorites and i dont think its right. So ever since i said that too her she has been trying to get me fired, she blames me for things she does and maybe its not a grudge but maybe she is just trying to cover her ass who knows. either way my boss has been on my case and i keep worrying i will loose my job quite soon. She gave me one more chance and if it gets blown im screwed. Whether it is my fault or not she doesnt care. Ive also been having problems with my mom as usual....to her i dont exist anymore and she could give ten shits about what happens to me. i havent really had a good day nor have i even laughed as in fully laughed in weeks well not since the last time i went to visit esu. Not normal for me. Ive gotten to the point where im worried about myself and whats going to happen to me and where i want to go from here. i have a slight idea but it scares me as to whether i can handle what i want to do with my life. I want to teach but im scared as hell that its going to be yet another job like the one i have now where i get blammed for things cause im new. Who knows. Im still going though ive been pretty strong i think with the way i have been handling all this shit. good thing is i still have my gram she and i had a nice day out last weekend which helped we went to breakfast i got my drivers liscence renewed and as usual we vented to eachother about the shit going on with family and work it felt good to talk about things. I still feel a bit down but i am proud of myself for getting up each morning and going to work and acting like nothing is going on and just doing the best i can do to keep my job. Just keep going thats all i keep saying to myself. I have been writing a lot and keeping myself busy. I have even decided to start dieting so i can loose some of this god awful weight. So like i said im trying to keep my chin up and not take any shit. Hopefully things will start looking up soon. Well here is a bit of writing i have done...you can comment on it if you like: Let me be a somebody Its not enough Nothing will ever be enough Not for you The queen of this place The queen of hearts says off with her head Sorrow comes and goes Ignorance is bliss Wishes never granted Hope extinguished like a small flame by a thunderstorm. The bond we had gone The feeling of being wanted is dead You want me dead You wish for my death everyday Only thing is im not dieing You look at me like I am nothing Like I have no regard for you or your husband I have no regard for your husband but care deeply for you But do you care Will you ever care You use me You make me feel like shit You shit upon my head and laugh as though its some joke Im not laughing Im crying Do you notice? Will you ever notice? No your too caught up in your own problems and life You don’t care You don’t want me here I am nothing to you I am invisible A spec of dirt upon your clean floor One that you think needs to be swept up and thrown out But im still here and will always be here Whether you like it or not You didn’t want me to come into this world but here I am You cant stop me from living You cant stop me from dying You cant stop me from dreaming dreams of being a somebody Though you wish you could You think im here to ruin your life Well that’s not my job You do a good enough job of that all by yourself All I ask is that you leave me alone Let me be a somebody please, please just let me be a somebody Yes this one is about mommy dearest i may show it to her someday maybe if she sees how she is making me feel she will let up on me....yeah right and dogs dont piss on water hydrants meh. anyways thats the latest ill write more later i promise lol i dont mean to be a totall recluse. Poop Current Mood: fuck work & problems (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 26th, 2005
12:37 am	IT LIVES Well Im alive ive been damn sick the past week i couldnt even go to work. I finally went back today after a week of fever and puking so much i pulled muscles in my stomach. I had a fever of 104.7 one night and was hellucinating and all that fun shit all i remember was thinking where the fuck am i where is everyone and why am i not in school lol. Fun Fun. meh. Death. im feeling much better though after getting an inhailer and a shot of some kind of steroid to make the bronchitis go away. Everyone at work missed me and they thought i either died or quit lol. my boss aparently never told them what was going on with me. The kids missed me as well as they woke from their naps most smiled a big smile and hugged me while it took others a bit to wake up enough to realize who the hell i was lol. Well i dont feel like writitng anymore so im off to bed. Poop Current Mood: boxed in before from sickness Current Music: cant get enough of you baby (Comment on this)
Monday, February 14th, 2005
9:57 pm	Valentines day....sucks Well it was an interesting valentines day i got a special present of changing a kid who had diarea joy. I also got some valentines from my kids each valentine was cute. I did however get some good feed back from a parent on an art project i did with the kids. They loved it lol you guys all know the cartoon frogs i always draw well i drew a few of those and the kids colored them and put them on heart backgrounds. They loved coloring them and making the hearts. I also got a big surprise at the end of my work day. I had just gotten out of work and was on the way to my car when someone starts whistling at me i didnt realize who was parked next to my car until i got half way there it was nikki. I asked her what she was doing there and how she knew i worked there and she said she found out from my old boss where i worked and what time i got off. My old boss knows my hours because i might be working for her in the mournings soon. But anyway all Nikki had to say was she missed me and that she still didnt figure anything out yet and I got a sick feeling in my stomach and couldnt really speak except for what i kept repeating which was why did you have to leave me. I sounded like a blubbering idiot. Meh. Whatever once again i feel like she ripped my heart from my chest and stomped on it while i watched. Meh. Ah well at least it was a good day at work lol. Pooop Current Mood: relaxing Current Music: some random song on my stereo (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 12th, 2005
9:15 pm	WOOOOT Well I finally got my guitar that I ordered its sooooo beautiful! Im going to bring it with me possibly next weekend to show everyone. I cant believe Valentines day is already this monday...only valentines im gonna be getting is from my kids lol. But hey at least im loved by someone. Sigh I hate valentines day. But ah well ill just try to pretend its just another stupid day. I got sent home early yesterday because of being sick hopefully i can get rid of whatever i got by monday so i can go back to work and so that im healthy by next weekend. I slep from friggen 2 in the afternoon till 11 at night yesterday. I guess i was pretty tired out then i went to bed four hours later and slept till 11 today so yeah im pretty damned sick. I couldnt even play my guitar yesterday when it finally came cause i was so sick lol. But i feel better right now and hopefully will feel 100% by monday. I have training next week for four hours after work....joy but hey i get paid for it WOOT! lol well i dont feel like writing anymore soooo im out POOOOP! Current Mood: i think im dead Current Music: Evanesence (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 8th, 2005
10:14 pm	Hey all! Sorry i havent updated in so long ive been pretty busy and such...i cant even remember when i updated last lol. Anywoot the job is great i really feel like there is mening in my life now and i found out today i made an impact on one of the kids who is one of our school aged kids. I worked with him when i was in highschool and taking this class where preschoolers would come in two days a week and we had to plan lessons for them and we actually ran a preschool for an hour. He was the kid i had and i even had to do a case study on him well i saw him last week and he remembered me and then today he sat with me talking about all the things i showed him in the preschool class and what projects we did, it felt good to see that he learned from it! And especially that he rememberd everything cause that was like 5 years ago and he remembered me and everything else so i must have made one hell of an impact on him! His mom came to pick him up and he was all like mom this is that teacher i had in preschool at wallenpaupack! She is working here now and he was so excited lol. He even told his little brothers today to be good for miss shannon because she was his favorite teacher when he was their age lol. I just sat there like wow lol, totally made me feel like i made a difference in this kids life lol. Well im off to bed i got work early tommorow and need to be nice and awake for all my kids lol. Pooop Current Mood: im remembered! Current Music: Dust in the wind (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 3rd, 2005
12:38 am	Its been a trying two days Well the last two days since i wrote last has been very trying. Yesterday I changed 20 diapers it seems since i am new they think it best for me to change every diaper so i get the hang of how they change diapers before DPW comes to inspect us. I have to change diapers in the steps DPW suggests which is weirder then at the other daycares. You gotta get the kids stuff out and ready along with a small bag to put the diaper in then a gotta wsh your hands then get the baby up on the changing table then get them changed and in mid change take the glove off and throw it in the small bag with the diaper tie the bag off throw it in the big garbage bucket finish putting the diaper on and dressing the kid then wash their face off then set them down and have them sit on a small bench next to you and sprey the table with bleach and wipe it off once then sprey it again and let it dry for two minutes while its drying you wash your hands then wash the babies hands and dry and before you leave the room mark down if the baby shit or just peed then take the babies hand if he or she can walk and walk them bck to the room and get another baby that needs changing.it all has to be in that exact order or you could fail inspection. Joy. So that takes a lot of getting used to cause it wasnt at all like that at the other daycares. My head teacher i work with is excellent she is very patient with me as well as the kids. Today she mad me laugh cause se kept acting like she was sleeping and the kids would go nuts trying to wake her up then she would jump and say BOOO! and the kids would all run away laughing and screaming. She is an older women so it just made me laugh to see her in the rare form she was in today with the kids. Usually she is a very seriouse person who only reads or directs the kids to do things but today was an exception. The kids love her and they like me a lot too even though because i am new they like to see what they can get away with. i dont let them get away with much and i think they are slowly realizing im fun but not to mess with me lol. One little girl decided not to clean up today even though she always did before or at least helped clean up. She would watch me and the other kids clean the toys up then dump the whole basket over while looking right at me with this evil little smile on her face. So first tried the nice approach saying can you please pick those up now that you spilled those over and of course she said no which i expected so then i said but all the other kids worked so hard to put those toys away and you didnt help so please pick those up and again she said no so then i got stern and got relatively close to her face and said pick them up now she then raised her voice saying no and threw a toy at me so then i had to hink a minute cause with all the other kids ive ony had to get real stern with them but then i came up with a new idea and i said well I bet i can get more toys in this basket then you can and then i sai on your mark get set go! and put two toys in and said hah im in the lead! then she went nuts and i didnt have to pick another toy up lol afterwards i said well you win i guess i was just too slow and she clapped her hands and then dumped the whole thing over again and yelled again and we played this (game) again lol. Kids. Each baby has their own way of doing things suppose. My little friend i wrote about in my last journal entree is still a good buddy of mine lol He works very hard to be good and help out as much as he can. He cleans up after himself and still helps me as a matter of fact when the little girl pushed the basket of toys over today he yelled at her and said NO PICK EM UP lol. I had to tel him im the teacher but thank you for trying to help lol. He loves when i read to him or play little games with him but the downfall is he gets jelouse real quick when other kids join in now. So im working with him on that lol. He even went as far as saying no no my miss shannon to one kid today and i had to tell him im not just yours i like everyone here and its ok for them to join in so then he crossed his little arms and made a pouty face and i went into my reverse phsychology of dont you smile dont you dare smile while dipping him backwards until he started laughing lol and went on with what i was doing with the other kids. Lol. damn i have no life anymore three days at my new job and thats all i talk about lol. Wellthere is one new thing besides the job stuff going on I am going to scranton on friday with jesse and his friend heather and going to see pauly who got out of jail a month ago. We are all spending the night and then i go home saterday. It should be a lot of fun i also get to see tony who is paulys new roomate and who has been flirting with me to no end lol I met him once before and have been talking to him online a lot since he moved in with pauly and has internet now. he is kinda cute and a little wacky lol. My kinda guy lol. Other thenthat i have been hanging with laurie a lot afer work because she lives only five minutes from where i work. So Its been a very busy week lol. But lots of fun. Well im tired and tired of writing i shouldnt even be up this late lol. Poooop Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: random music on stereo (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
12:37 am	Ah what a first day Well my first day on the job went great. My kids are sooooo adorable and i even made a little friend out of the bunch. He became my little helper ide be putting toys away and he would come over and help and if i put something on the wrong shelf he would say no no dont go there go here lol. He learned my name in the first 15 minutes of meeting me and was the first kid who hugged me it really amazed me that a two year could help out so much. It was great the kids just all clicked with me not like at the other daycares where it took about a week for one to even like ya enough to hug ya. In not even an hour he rought me a book to read to him and soon as i started reading all 8 of them came and sat on me and near me to hear it. they where all very cooperative with even naptime....makes me wonder if it will last or if its just cause im a new face amongst the teachers lol.Im waiting for the attack of the toddlers to happen. But there again even the head teacher in the room was quite impressed by how fast they all adjusted to me. And by how well they listend to me. The older ones anyways. The real little guys dont know any better of course. I didnt realize how much i missed daycare work untill today. Putting them down for their naps and watching them fall asleep watching them wake up and look at ya and smile and or barf...that was only one though lol. Meh. I just missed it all especially reading stories and them asking for ya to pick them up oh and the hugs especially. Yup yup mommy shanny is back lol Gotta love it. Oh funny story while passing a five year old in the hallway today he asked me who i was and when i said im miss shannon and i am a new teacher here he said well i dont like you go home so i got down to eye level with him and said look little man you dont even know me yet and what makes you think i like you and then while walking away i hear him say to his little friend now thats a cool teacher lol. Made me laugh. Well im off to bed i needs some rest im pretty sour after picking up kids changing 20 diapers and getting up and down all day from the floor soooo Pooop Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Nirvanna (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 29th, 2005
12:38 am	WOOOOOOOT! I got the job!!!! Yup yup wearing a dress payed off lol. Well that and my experience in working with children and a good interview lol but hey first impressions are everything soooo the dress and makeup did some good too lol. I have a 6 hour training session tommorow of cpr and firstaid for the job. I get paid for it too hehe. Also i will be meeting the other teachers ill be working with and really getting to know them. I still cant believe i got picked out of everyone who was trying for this job. I guess the best part of this job is i got it on my own no mom or gram help like all the other jobs ive had. I start monday promptly at 12:30 and i get to have this chance as well to cut down on my smoking. Cause i certainly cant do it any where around the learning center and i only get a 15 minute break and that is to eat in the learning center and get right back to work lol. gonna be trying but i have to cut down or im gonna die before im 30 lol. I have all these classes that i gotta take for the job, all of which are paid for by the company and i get paid for doing them hehe. those are the types of classes i like! Hell I would have graduated college by now if they paid me the whole way through it lol. Fucking grand....if there is anything that can ruin my day it the fact that my grandmother is fucking drunk as hell right now and just came out from her bedroom where i thought she passed out saying she puked and was wobbling like she could fall over any second. That certainly dampers my good mood i WAS in. Sigh. I actually thought things where ok and ide only have to check on her once before i went to bed now im gonna be worried about her all fucking night. Damn it. im pissed my parents are gone usually she doesnt drink enough to be drunk when they are gone but oh noooooo not this time when i gotta get up 6:30 in the god damned mourning to go to a class for my new job and was busy tonight printing copys of my diploma and such for my job so she fucking decides while im busy shes gonna drink like a fucking fish. Sorry im rather pissed right now...i was in such a good mood after last night annd then today i mean i finally got to go out and hang with D and john after like a month of waiting and actually cut loose and relaxe then today i got that job i was hoping i would get but now this just ruins it. Sigh poop Current Mood: pissed off (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
2:11 am	Interesting developments Well Jesse and Laurie where over last night. You guys know how i was saying I think my house is haunted well now i have proof. Jesse was taking pictures and my one curtain was open by my window by my bed and when we looked at them on the digital camara you can plainly see a man standing there with no shirt on staring at us. Took more pictures even with the lights off in case it was a reflection and it was still there but in a different position or different part of the window. Watching me the intire time, the head was pointed in my direction...its real creepy. I am going to have to bring them next time i visit. Other then that weird stuff my interview went very well today though i still dont know if i got the job. One thing she had me do before i left was to go in with what will be the group ill be working with ad interact with them for an hour. So i read the kids their favorite book then helped them clean up for lunch and tied a few shoes and made a few little friends then the hour was up and it was time to leave and she told me she would call me by next week to let me know if i got the job. The other director never showed i still dont know why. The kids where all very curiouse about me and one looked a lot like Nikkis kid which made me a little sad. But it was all good. I was nervouse soon as i woke up this mourning then i drank a lot of coffee and got real hyper reminded me of all the twooting court and i did lol. As in getting hyper from coffee. I calmed down before i got there though. Well Im tired and need sleep, hopefully the ghost wont eat me lmao. Hair is standing up on the back of my neck right now cause i feel like im being watched its pry just my imagination because of those pictures....or at least i hope it is. Poop Current Mood: scared Current Music: Foreigner (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 23rd, 2005
4:10 am	Snow lots and lots of snow! Well we have about 8 inches of snow over here sofar. It sucks and it had better be clear on tuesday cause i have a big job interview. The big job interview is at the learning center that i applied at last week. I believe i mentioned it before. I actually have to dress up woohoo. Dress and all should be interesting since i never wear dresses lol. I have gone over what im going to say at this interview a million times in hopes to be fully prepared for what ever they ask me. Im actually pretty nervouse because i really want and need this job and it would be doing whhat i have been wanting to do. Working with kids and a small amount of teaching. I meet with the director and the owner of the chain of this tyype of learning center. Its got a lot of applicants and im hoping they pick me out of all of them...hehe really hope. The director seemed to like me sooo I am hoping that goes over well and the director also knew two people i have worked with before who both gave me good recomendations. One being thhe teacher i used to volunteer for. Apparently they are good friends so im hoping that is a plus. Who knows. All i know is the sooner i find a job the sooner i dont have to hear about wasting gas money on stupid reasons like visiting my friends so my asshole parennts say. sigh. Anyways things have been going pretty well my parents went to help my uncle with something and wound up stuck there cause of the snow and so it has just been me and my gram all night and its been awsome. She didnt drink as much and we played bord games to pass the time and had a few good laughs not to mentioned talked a whole lot about life in general. We both sat there drinking coffee and smoking cigs and just chatting and playing trivia. It was really nice to just be able to enjoy a drama free night from my parents. Kinda reminded me of the times we all had the amina free nights at D's otherwise known as drama free nights. My gram and i both got to really vent about how my parents treat us and it felt as good. A lot of the prblems i have been having with my mom came out and i got some answers and or some confort in knowing im not the only one she treat like shit around here my grandmother and i both decided she treats us like shit and my father and herself like a king and queen. Its like we have become there servents obeying every jesture of my moms hand and my gram is getting pretty sick of it. as am i. But talking about it really helped and we both agreed the next time she (jestures) for us to either give her money or clean something that isnt our job to clean we are going to stand up to her about it. She asks my gram for money she is going to say the same thing my mom says to me when i ask her for any money...get a damn job!And if she asks me to clean up a huge mess she has made that i had no part of it will be you made the mess now you clean it up! You wont clean up after me so why should i be made to clean up after you. And so we shall see how this all works out. Other then that Im still kinda depressed about Nikki, i dont even know why I just miss little things like the way we used to talk the holding eachother and the cute way she said my name and the way when i came over the kids would come running saying shanny shanny! Sigh. I miss the kids a lot. I mean i know it was over before and that we needed to collect ourselves before doing anything else but the thing is i just always thought we would be friends if nothing else. And it totally hurts for things to be ended the way they were. I dont think im ever going to see her again. Last thing i found out was from my old boss who nikki used to work for, they where friends and my old boss said she heard something about Ohio from nikki. She thinks she moved there, if she did i dont know. Sigh. Well Im out I need sleep. I mean other then the Nikki situation i am thankful for what i got and im pretty sure things will turn out ok. Just gotta keep moving as usual. Poop. Current Mood: determined Current Music: The Unforgiven (metallica) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 19th, 2005
12:45 am	Yet another interview Well todays interview went well because now they want me back for yet another one. This one is in a weeks time and with the director of all the chains of this particular daycare. This daycare is way different from the others i have worked at because its a learning center soooo instead of being a glorified babysitter like at the other daycares i will actually be teaching a little. I hope i get the job. The call in one isnt bringing in enough money. The new daycare is huge its kitchen was bigger then the last daycare i worked at lol. The director who works with just this daycare really liked me and was very impressed with my resume. So sofar so good. Im hoping to get to stroudsburg soon but since no one will give me gas money jjust to go hang out it wont be till after my first paycheck of the new job if i get it. Sigh. Im going to try begging pretty soon damn it lol. I miss everyone like whoa! well thats about it for now im sleepy lol. Poooop. Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Its my life (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 18th, 2005
12:55 am	Wow im getting better at singing Well the last two days have been great, I have been hanging out with laurie and Jesse and playing karaoke revolutions and just having a good time for once. I needed to have a good time because ive been pretty damned depressed lately with the whole Nikki thing and all and since i didnt have the gas to get to the college this week I hung with my friends here. I am totally getting more balls when it comes to singing. Especially after the 50000 points i got on the song I believe in a thing called love on revolutions 2. I not only did that once but 5 times now 50000 is the highest score there is so i whooped everyones ass who went against me on that song lol. I have been playing a lot and i have a lot of songs down pact sooooo you college kids be prepared i may just be able to beat you all when we play again. I can even sing unchained melody and sweet home alabama good enough to almost be at 50000 points. In other news I have a job interview tommorow. Since i am on a call in bases at the other daycare i decided i had to find another job and will try to work both if i can. This job is also at a daycare. Its called the treasure house and if I get it I will be working with the toddlers. Yay! Ide be able to play with babies all day lol. I hope i get it. We all know how fast i can become mommy shannon lol. Oh! I forgot one thing about the revolutions game...my mom came in and tried to play one night while over at my cousins, She sang like shit then decided to criticize me as usual for my singing, but here is the funny thing i whooped her ass and my uncles as well with my score and when she and my uncle left laurie, jesse and my other little cousins that where there all agreed i sing much better then she does and that she sucks! I didnt even say anything lol they all said that as soon as she left it was cool. My little cousins never compliment anyone on hardly anything least of all me and they complimented me on my singing lol i was like damn something is wrong i never sing well....but as it turns out im just afraid to sing cause of my mother lol. I however am no longer afraid hehe! Well im tired of writing and i wrote a book anyways sooooo I am off to play some kind of video game. Poooooooop! Current Mood: amused Current Music: Sweet Home Alabama (Comment on this)